Today has been awful: very late last night, my grandfather past away. He died in his sleep just before midnight of a stroke, his second; he was 88. I leave for DeeCee tomorrow. The funeral is on Tuesday. I spent the entire day shopping for funeral clothes. I got a suit at Banana Republic, shoes at Aldo, a belt and a scarf at Express, gloves at Banana, a shirt and tie at Foley’s and socks at Express. $600 later, I am ready.

My grandfather, my father’s father, has never really been all there. He has also been in poor health. Either way, he was never that great to me. I think much of this falls on my father for being lesion between us. My father has been most morbid. I don’t understand it, but fine. He’s grumpy, like his usual self. He doesn’t seem upset over his father’s death. He really is an awful man. It’s amazing how much disdain and unspoken distrust there is. It’s a group of people out to get each other, and then the will arrives. It’s amazing how much money bares my last name. I need a good probate.

My father and brother left today for DeeCee. I had to get ready; all of my formal clothes are back in Arizona. Anyway, my father said I need to be there for my family. However, his side of the family has never been there for me. I work two jobs to go to school. He never called me. No one will associate with this side of the family.

They say there are two types of people who go to a funeral; those who go to grieve, and those who go to make sure the person is dead. I don’t know which I am. I’m going, of course. I need to be there. My father, who hates his sister and brother in law, my great uncle, who is as sharp as a cucumber, my cousins, aunt and uncle, who I like and will be staying with, will be there, of course.

I was just in DeeCee exactly a month ago for Thanksgiving. I said, “the next time I go back, it should be for a funeral.” Who knew it would be this soon.

And once again,

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight.

Yours sincerely,

Well, I think Jesus rewared the Texas hicks for voting Bush -- We got a white Christmas here in Sugar Land -- almost 2 inches of sticking snow! In honor of the occasion, I rented Fargo - My God, the blonde whore looks and talks EXACTLY like Kel - unreal! Despite what people say, it's not over-rated. I may watch it again. I love the accents. "Hun, Brahhvaoooah neeyds a jump." It reminds me of all of the upper Midwesterners in AZ. We have half of them, I'm sure. Ya. Yeah. Ya.

Yea, so NEW YEARS in NEW ORLEANS with AMELIA the Pollack Catholic. This is ganna rock.

So far, all is well in the Ol' Souf. Not ganna change any tickets just yet.

Chugging along. It's nice to spend time with friends. I miss you guys more than you know. "I hate waking up knowing I live in Sugar Land." "I love waking up knowing I got out." To be loved is single and depraved. More and more, I know what that means.

Texas really reminds me of a Phish song...

...Farmhouse:

Welcome, this is a farmhouse/ We have clusterflies and this time of year is bad/ We are so very sorry/ There is nothing we can do but swat them.... No I've never seen the Northern Lights (this is a farmhouse)/ I've never really heard of cluster flies (this is a farmhouse)

E

Being back in Houston for three weeks is a mixed blessing.  Right now, I'm in the "$100 is a small price to pay to change my ticket to Friday" mood...

I got back in town on Friday afternoon. It was cold and polluted with the brown cloud that covers both major cities and red states. That night, I ran into Jordan, Michah, Shawn, Karril and John. We didn't do much but catch up, but it made the night worth while. Saturday was crazy. John, Karril, Warren and I went to Karril's house. I won the card game, but by the end, my vodka was gone and we were trashed. We went to Taco Cabana with Shawn and Jordan and drank more, of course and then Denny's to sober up - we were trashed. It felt great to be with old friends, catch up and share way too many drinks. Good times...

Today, Sunday, I'm done. I can't live at home anymore. I cannot be told what to do and what not to do and be accountable for every moment of my time. I live on my own now in my house with my own life. I feel that living at home makes me a sophomore in high school again, and I don't want to live like that. At this point, I am so tempted to get on the next plane and fly back to Phoenix. Even being alone, at times, is better than be cornered. At the same time, there are so many people I would like to see while I'm here. I'm afraid, however, that I got here too soon. In retrospect, I would have liked to have gotten to town in the middle of this week, hence making my trip maybe 16 days instead of 21. I think that would have been a better idea.

I don't live in Texas anymore. I don't claim to be a Texan. I can't stand being away from home while living in my Mom's house. I came for the people and I stay for the people, but much like a rose bush, there are too many pricks.

We shall see how it goes...

Eric

PS If anyone wants to go into town tomorrow, tell me. I'm so down for that...